Today we’d like to introduce you to Anju Kumari.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
”I’m thankful for my struggles because, without them, I wouldn’t know my strengths.”
I BELIEVE IN SETTING AN EXAMPLE INSTEAD OF JUST GIVING ANY ADVICE.
Hey there – Let me give you a glimpse of my life.
I am Anju K. A Blogger, an Interior Stylist, and Architect by profession, but I also did my Bachelor’s degree in Computer Application and Psychology. When I was in India, I created my own Home Décor brand with an e-commerce business. Also, I worked as a blogger with my niche in interior design, fashion, lifestyle, and parenting. So that’s another feather in my small crown.
I came to the United States in 2019 with my husband and my 2 kids. My husband was abusive since the first day of our relationship, before and after we married. We were together for 13 years, out of which 11 years of our marriage involved every kind of abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and psychological). Trauma not only comes in memories, but it can also come back in physical symptoms too. As a result of the violence and abuse I suffered, I have to see so many doctors, therapists, and specialists every other day. It looks like I’m physically out of it but somewhere I’m still stuck there.
I am a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor. For 8 months, I am a resident at an emergency shelter home with my two kids. Physically, I am out of danger but as a result of the abuse and violence I suffered, I have to spend most of my time in hospitals, with therapists and different specialists. My abuser was my husband. He hit me more than 120 over the head that I get syncope episodes (fainting spells) without any warning and get hurt every other week. I have been diagnosed with tachycardia, seizures, sleep apnea, and complex PTSD. I was not born with these complications, everything is a result of abuse and violence from my married life.
I got a stroke at the age of 28. Working from home doesn’t work for me as I don’t have that much time left after so many appointments and bus travel as I am unable to drive with my health concerns. Everyone who knows me personally says that I am blessed – that I survived. I believe I survived so I can share my experience with others who are still going through domestic violence and abuse. Sharing and telling my story helps me in my healing. It feels like I am heard. Also, if my words reach someone who needs some hope that would be great. I always say we should speak if it makes some difference in our lives or others.
With my website, Healing2peace.com, and my blogs, I’ll tell you how I survived my pain and suffering along with my kids handling my abuser and my business. Maybe my words reach someone who can relate and find some help. I am aware I can’t save the world but at least I can try to make some difference. This website is an initiative to help me and others in healing. I am sharing my experiences and journey as a Victim/Survivor but I prefer calling myself a normal woman just like you. Maybe I’ll be able to save just ONE life besides my own.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
Living in a different country as a single mom with two kids, without any family and friends is not an easy task. I can’t describe my journey in a few sentences or minutes. No one can imagine how rough is the road. It’s not like walking in the park every day. I struggle to get out of my bed, because of my medical conditions and complications.
I have no source of income, only I know how I am arranging the basic needs, like food and clothing, as I didn’t apply for any benefits I qualify for many benefits under the disability program and crime victims but for me, it’s like begging or asking too much. It was not the government who abused me so why should they pay for it? At least today, me and my kids are safe from the violence and abuse we were going through for so many years.
We are grateful to the people and organizations who came forward to support us. I am qualified to make a better living for myself and my family, so why should I rely on some benefits? My hope is alive that one day I would go through it. I will make my dreams come true. Right now, I am going through the toughest part of my life. Every day I deal with health issues, financial and legal troubles, finding physical and emotional support for me. It is really hard to trust anyone when even my community and my people didn’t come forward to support me.
Every single day, I have to relive my trauma, again and again by telling my story. I didn’t ask for much, I don’t need anyone’s sympathy, I just need a little kindness, empathy, and compassion. My whole life I was passionate to work, and I want to work to give everything to my kids, what they deserve but the things don’t go according to us. I feel like a burden by asking for help. We are not a responsibility to others. No one owes anything to anyone.
Everyone is going through their own struggles. Pain and suffering have no comparison. I love this city, it’s people – who showered us with so much love, care, and support. I am blessed to have you all. My hope is alive. I am not alone. I will walk my journey with you all.
MY ABUSER IS BACK TO UNITED STATES!!! He was my husband for more than 10 years. He is back. Around 10 months back he left the country and ran to India. He left us in hospital with critical condition like we were some luggage, not his family. He was the worst case abuser. The way he treated us was horrible. We were lucky that we got saved. From the first day of our relationship, he was violent and abusive. I tried many times to leave, but the law and system in India is so easy to buy. Whenever I reported, his father bribed the police and law enforcement.
And when we came to the United States, he became a monster. He started dealing with people who supply guns, drugs and smuggle people from the borders. Whenever I tried to stop him, me and my kids suffered.
Me and my kids had spent nights in this kind of season over the roads without any shoes and proper warm clothes. We were homeless and hopeless.
I have worked for 12 hours a day at tobacco store along with my 2 kids so I can feed them. Whenever he wanted to leave, he left and then came back. We were just surviving for giving him pleasure. He enjoyed it when we bled. He loved to see the blood…He loved to see us crying…He is not a normal human. He is a psycho.
He never cared or loved his own kids. He let them come in the world to control me, then he used them to make his control and power. When kids started objecting, he became violent with them too. He slapped them, bite them. Even when my kids were baby, he never let them cry or make any noise. If they did, we suffered.
He used to give me injuries. Few of them are – stitches on face, more than 120 head injuries, around 25 abortions (out of which 12 were surgical) and permanent eye damage.
Because of him, we have to visit 12 doctors and therapists every other day. As a result of his actions, I lost my family, my savings, my career, my life and my peace. And now he is back to harm us.
Again he fooled the system so easily. He has criminal charges of continuous domestic violence and sexual assault, even then they let him come. He is living and enjoying his life freely and we the victims are suffering and surviving. From 10 months, we were in shelter. Now struggling with survival and he is free. He was ordered to pay child support and spousal maintenance but as he was out of the country, we can’t do anything.
But now, I WANT JUSTICE… I WANT HIM BEHIND THE BARS…
I have protective orders but it feels like he is pointing gun on my head, and I have to close my eyes so I don’t see him. When he fires, then I have to report. I want to scream for justice on behalf of every victim who lost their lives. I was killed and murdered every single day for 13 years, but I was blessed that my soul didn’t left my body. For how long, I can carry this burden of pain and injustice? I don’t the pain of all victims and survivors go in vain, people must know how painful it is to get killed every day. I want to speak for all who are still struggling, maybe someone can reach out for help before it’s get too late….maybe someone get saved.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I have done my major in Computer Application, Psychology, and Interior Design and Architecture. I have worked as an interior designer and instructor for two years along with owning my home decor business. I used to handle my e-commerce store designing products and handling customers and designers.
As I am a mother of two, while raising my kids, I started blogging about parenting, health, and fitness, as a side-hustle. After coming to the US, I worked as a freelance interior designer and full-time cashier job at different convenience stores while babysitting my kids during working hours, too, as I don’t have any family or friends to take care of my kids, and I can’t afford daycare. Now as I can’t work full time, I started blogging and sharing my experiences through social media like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. My words are reaching overseas too, people want me to share more.
They encouraged me to write more, so I started my website, Healing 2peace.com. But they want me to listen also. I am planning to start a podcast but I don’t know where to start. I can’t handle everything. My 10-year-old son is helping me a lot in technical things but I need more support, be it manpower or financial.
So maybe we end on discussing what matters most to you and why?
My mental and physical matter most to me because, if I am healthy, then I can raise healthy kids. I am in search of my peace now. I can make a lot of money through my skills but my mental and physical health are the obstacle, enjoying a life of luxury is not the peace that I am searching for.
Healing and helping others give me peace. I love to volunteer by I am trying to give a safe environment to my kids by keeping them near healthy adults. I can’t promise my kids the best things they want but I will try my hardest to surround them with good people. Along with this, I am making them aware of the bad side of the world because I believe, hard times never goes, it can come back again in any form. We have to be ready to face it.
It’s all about making choices when we are under some pressure, we make bad choices. So I am teaching my kids to take one step at a time without rushing. They should always think before they speak or take a step because once an arrow sped from the bow cannot be retrieved.
Contact Info:
- Email: anju29peace@gmail.com
- Website: www.healing2peace.com
- Instagram: http://instagram.com/anju29peace
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100072795660912
- Twitter: http://twitter.com/Anju29peace
Image Credits
Son Siddhant Clothing By San Antonio Threads
