Today we’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Talamantez.
Hi Stephanie, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today.
I grew up in a single-family home. My dad, who was my entire world, passed away when I was 10. His passing left my mom in charge of raising 4 kids on a very limited income. We struggled without my dad, and the years that followed his passing were the hardest years of my life. I entered middle school shortly after the passing of my dad. The happy girl who once existed was now a shattered preteen. I was lost and confused, a girl with no direction or guidance. I tried to maintain good grades and join in extracurriculars. I was on the cheer team and studied Japanese. I tried my best to move forward, but my middle school years were filled with abuse, bullying, and the beginning of suicidal ideations. Looking back now, of course, middle school was tough. I was a skinny girl with large pink glasses, hand-me-down clothes, tangled hair, and a self-value of nothing. Life without my daddy was proving to be complicated.
In high school, I continued with cheer and dance. I performed on stages, fields, and competition floors. Hundreds of eyes are looking at me, but not one sees me. They see a world TV falsely advertises smiles and laughter as popularity and never-ending happiness. They couldn’t have been more wrong. My life wasn’t a fake TV show; it was far from it. This Cheerleader was dying inside. How could I not be? I lost the only person in my life who could protect me. Every day, I was reminded I was worthless. Every day, I had to protect myself from someone. Every day was exhausting. I just wanted to die.
In my 20’s, I began my promiscuous behaviors. I started wearing revealing clothing and partying and continuously sought validation from men, often finding myself in unsafe situations. I was numb and broken, with no one to save me. I lacked confidence, self-esteem, and value in myself. I felt worthless. All this led me down a path of toxic relationships. Despite the screaming, stalking, cheating, harassment, and belittling, I stayed. I stayed because they “loved me.” I was so desperate for someone to want me. I didn’t care if it came from an abusive man. I just wanted to be loved.
Amid my spiral, I found myself pregnant at 21. I was terrified of becoming a mom. How could I possibly be someone’s mom? I didn’t know what nurturing and love looked like, and I knew this baby needed it. Despite my fears, I wanted this baby more than life itself. My Darling girl, you saved my life! My baby girl was born on 9/11/06, and although her early years weren’t the happiest, she is why I kept going.
In my 30’s, I was in a broken marriage with two kids. I was working multiple dead-end jobs and living in a house that was falling apart, and my mental health began to unravel. The years of numbing myself were finally catching up, and I knew I needed to do something. I was diagnosed with PTSD and placed on medication. I began weekly counseling sessions and even took my family back to church. I tried everything I could think of, but I was still broken and hurting.
During this time, I found a position in a counseling office where I was introduced to Billing and Coding. While the environment was toxic, looking back, I realize I was right where I needed to be. Many attended school to learn this skill set, but I didn’t have to. God had me here for a reason. I didn’t know it yet. In 2020, years after working as a Biller and Coder, I trusted God again and opened up Talamantez Billing. I now have contracts with several private practice owners, and the business thrives. Word-of-mouth referrals constantly pour in. Remember, amid the darkness, remain faithful.
During this year, I also made another change in my life. After years of begging, crying, and pleading for change, I ended my marriage. I finally said enough! I chose myself! I could no longer stay in an environment that was unhealthy. I was 36 years old and had suffered enough. I was still very active in church and counseling. I began using this time to reflect on my life. For 2 years, I remained still. I didn’t date or go out. I focused on God, work, and my kids. Being a single mom is not easy, but it was a choice I needed to make. So many women stay in relationships for the sake of the kids. I did. Eventually, I realized I was causing more harm. I didn’t want this for my kids. I didn’t want them growing up in a toxic home too. They deserved something different.
During these two years, I began growing as a woman. I started noticing changes in the way I presented myself. I began wearing makeup again and putting effort into the clothes I wore. I began laughing more and realized being still was what I needed. I finally was finding healing. I began seeing myself as a beautiful woman. I still remember the first day I said I was beautiful. Never had I ever thought this about myself. I began walking more in my confidence. I was finally beginning to realize I was worthy of so much more. For the first time in my life, I began to feel valued.
In 2022, two years of being still, God began calling me to pursue another adventure. He began calling me to mentor and coach other women. I initially ignored him, but you can only do this for so long. The calling became stronger, and I finally gave in. I began listening but remained doubtful. I naively sought advice from friends and was met with opposition. I was told I wasn’t educated enough to help and would end up causing more harm than good. I was told to return to school and get a counseling or social work degree. They couldn’t see the vision because it wasn’t theirs to see. God doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies the called.
Women and teen girls began sharing stories with me. Perfect strangers openly share life with me at random times: school events, stores, and even customer service calls. God placed these women in my life because they needed someone to listen. Conversations flowed. Naturally, hugs were exchanged, and thank You’s flowed my way. The more conversations I had, the more I realized that this was what I was meant to do. I started posting videos on TikTok and eventually named my page “Fixing_my_crown.” To women, a crown symbolizes strength, value, respect, and worth; to the believers, it also symbolizes that they are a daughter of a King. It was the perfect name! I create content based on life experiences. I coach dating, self-worth, confidence, empowerment, and understanding your value. My TikTok account has over 4,000 followers and continues to grow daily. The community being built is supportive and empowering. I never imagined that my dark past would one day help others find their healing.
In February, I’ll host my first workshop. While it is nerve-wracking, I believe this is where God needs me. Helping women realize how fantastic they are is my mission. To the women reading this article, know that your Darling Girl is worthy of love, happiness, support, encouragement, and safety. I know firsthand what it’s like to be invisible, but the journey to happiness has to begin within you. You have to reach a point where you are fed up. You have to reach the point where you say I CHOSE ME! Only then can the journey to self-love and healing begin. Please get involved with the conversations that are happening on my social media. Women empowering women is a beautiful sight to see.
My life wasn’t an easy one, and I still experience struggles. I still attend weekly counseling and take daily medication. I remain active in church and faithful to God. I’m learning through this journey that God has a plan for me. Even in the darkest times, God said I choose you to help. Remember, God doesn’t call the qualified; he qualifies the called. What are you being called to do? Where does your passion lie? What is stopping you from chasing your dreams? You will never live a truly fulfilled life if you aren’t living in your true calling.
You wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been smooth?
Life is always full of struggles, but my struggles are my story. My struggles shaped me, and now my story is helping to heal other women. For years, I remained in the dark, being my obstacle. My church friends constantly prayed over me, but I couldn’t move. I kept praying and listening to God. I began to realize I was my obstacle. I need to pray and trust. Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord God will fight for you; you need only to be still.” This is my scripture. This is the one meant for me. I had to be still. I had to pray and trust. When I did, God began to move in a way I’ve never experienced. When I got out of his way, miracles began to happen.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
In January of 2023, I became a Board Member with Driving Single Parents. This is a nonprofit organization that gives cars to single parents. I was a recipient in 2022 and have decided to continue giving back to the community. By joining the Board, I hope that we reach more deserving individuals. What set’s me apart is my compassion for others. In my billing career, I’ve often reduced my rates for Counselors just starting. I do this because I know God will continue to bless the business as long as I serve others. I create an environment where the Counselors are encouraged to ask questions. In my coaching, what sets me apart is my ability to relate. At some point in our lives, we will seek advice from a friend, Mentor, Therapist, Life Coach, etc., and it’s difficult to be in a vulnerable conversation with someone who can’t relate. Think about it. If you were a mom having issues with your teenage daughter, would you seek advice from someone who didn’t have kids? I know I wouldn’t. I coach from experience, and I coach on topics I know. When you sit with me, we work on goals that have helped me or others like us. It’s not something I Googled, lol. I’m proud of myself. It’s been a journey filled with tears, doubt, anger, and darkness. I was trapped and suffering. I’m proud to finally realize how strong, worthy, and needy I am.
Before we go, can you talk to us about how people can work, collaborate, or support you?
You can click on the link to access my Link Tree. Here you will find access to all my social media accounts. I’m most active on TikTok because through videos, women are able to see who I am as an individual and coach, making them more comfortable in a coaching session. The silly, sassy, no filter, vibrant woman behind the screen is exactly who I am.
More content will be posted to Facebook and Instagram soon. Let’s say they’re under construction, (meaning i’m still learning how to use these sites.) My goal is to be able to reach as many women as possible through various social media platforms. Learning how to navigate Instagram and Facebook are on my lengthy to do list. If anyone is savvy in this area and can donate the time to help, let me know! I pay in hugs and tacos!!!!!!
Contact Info:
Image Credits
Tricia Crossland, Emily Mendoza
