Today we’d like to introduce you to Jaycee K. Clark
Hi Jaycee K., thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My name is Jaycee and I am a 34 years old trans model and motivational speaker. I moved to San Antonio in October 2020 with hopes of creating a better life for myself, and I have never felt the love like I have since moving here. This city has taught me so much about myself that I never knew was possible.
For years, I thought it was wrong to be my authentic self. I was scared to be the woman I’ve always felt like on the inside. I struggled with addiction, fear and shame. And for years I thought I would never live to see life the way it is meant to be seen.. Fearlessly. But since moving to San Antonio, I have blossomed into this person I’ve always dreamt of becoming – and this is only the beginning for me.
Since moving to San Antonio, I have starred in two commercials and a photoshoot promoting HIV awareness as well as trans health, and appeared as a guest speaker at Dance for Trans Youth in 2022. In 2023, I was able to be the guest speaker for the launch of the Martha Mae Fund developed by Alamo Area Resource Center benefiting the San Antonio trans community and healthcare as well as the guest speaker at The 2nd Annual Red Party, raising HIV/AIDS awareness, and in late 2023 had the opportunity to film an HIV awareness promo for Ashwell in Austin. Earlier this year, I was invited to be on a panel of other trans men and women during the 2024 DreamWeek/DreamVoice event, We Were Children Too hosted by Equality Texas and Thrive Youth Center here in San Antonio – and most recently was just named number three “Best Community Activist” published by SACurrent.com.
For many years of my life, I was ashamed to be the person I was meant to be authentically because it was not of the “social norm” to be trans and to live out loud. But in 2020, when I decided to take control of my life and sought help for alcoholism and addiction, I realized that “social norm” was just an invisible box that I no longer needed to fit into. And so I chose to follow my heart.. To follow my desires.. To chase my dreams.., and to truly.. live out loud. When the shame and guilt subsided, and I got out of my own way – God and the Universe paved the way for me to do exactly what I set out to do.
Has it been easy? No.. absolutely not. But has it been worth it? Most definitely. I have found my purpose in life in this great big world. Sure, I’ve done a lot of healing over these past four years – but I certainly have not done it alone. Being involved with SerenityStar Recovery and Comfort Cafe here in San Antonio has ultimately been where I have found myself. I get the chance to not only work on myself ever single day, but I get to be a mentor for other addicts and alcoholics on their recovery journeys – and when I tell you there is no greater fulfillment than watching the transformation happen in others lives, just as I’ve witnessed in my own life – that fulfillment goes without words. It’s greater than any high I ever chased or dreamt of. I have the luxury of living out loud today, owning the fact that I am trans, I am an addict in recovery and I have a voice that matters.
It’s wild to think that just four years ago, I was homeless on the streets of Downtown Houston – hopeless and emotionally bankrupt – and I sit here today sharing the message of hope and faith to readers all around the city of San Antonio.
I stand here before you today, unapologetically me. I am no longer afraid to be the person I was born to be. There is no longer some box of “social norm” that I am trying to fit into. I walk through life with my head held high, proud of all the many accomplishments I have achieved thus far, and as I said earlier – this is only the beginning of a beautiful and purposeful life.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Haha, girl please… it certainly has not been a smooth or easy road – but it has certainly been worth it. Early on in my recovery journey of healing, I learned that everything that has happened in my life has happened FOR me rather than happening TO me – and once that perspective was introduced to my way of thinking, I was then able to reflect on my life and see that the Universe was supporting me no matter what, through all of the darkest of days until I found my way into the light.
Being an addict and alcoholic is not easy for anybody, I don’t care who you are. It’s a disease that takes diligence and effort to overcome and heal through. And it’s never a one and done kind of party either. I wake up every single day, hit my knees and thank God for how my life looks today. I recently did a podcast interview and shared that I have turned my mess into my message; I no longer have this dark cloud of shame and guilt and fear riding over my head.
Sure, some days are brighter than others – but it’s just as I tell people just beginning their recovery journey, emotions are like clouds. Some are big, some are scary, some are light and some are airy – but no matter what – this too will pass. And flowers require rain in order to bloom.
I can look back over the past four years here in San Antonio and see my “harder” days as moments of growth. Even on the days when it felt like I couldn’t shift out of those negative head spaces, I had to remind myself that even flowers grow in sh!t. And I have to keep it so simple for myself – or else I can easily get caught up in the “shoulda, coulda, wouldas” of life – and when I get into those places, I know it’s time to take it back to the roots of how I got to this moment of my life and remind myself that EVERYTHING happening around me is truly for my highest good – and I don’t know what is always best for my life.
Now, add being transgender to that.
It takes effort to live life as an addict in recovery – but it takes even more courage to live life openly as a trans woman. There’s an honest rawness and vulnerability that comes with living out loud, especially in a society where even still today being trans is not always socially accepted. Yes, we are making progress in today’s society – but it’s not where it could be, but that’s where I feel like living out loud is making a difference. Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to stand on the stairs of the downtown courthouse here in San Antonio and share my story as a trans woman for the Trans Day of Visibility March – and I chose to do that afraid, even with my voice shaking. Because I am the woman I needed as a young trans child, and so now that I am an adult – I get to be that role model for others within our community here in San Antonio – and around the world. It comes with it’s worries, don’t get me wrong. Often times, I worry that someone may have something to say or not agree with my lifestyle – but that’s where I have the power to walk away and choose to not let fear run my life any longer.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
As a motivational speaker currently living in purpose, my ultimate purpose is to share my experience, strength and hope for others around the city of San Antonio and the world who may be struggling with addiction, gender identity or gender dysphoria or even those affected by HIV/AIDS. Over the course of the past four years, one thing that I have discovered about myself is the fact that I have a voice – you have a voice – we have a voice. And it has been put in my heart to share that message of letting not only my voice be heard, but also to have the voices around me be heard.
Once I allowed the shame, fear and guilt to subside from my life and being as a human – I found that my message a trans woman who happens to be in recovery from addiction and someone living with HIV, it is one of power, courage, pride and strength.
For many years after my diagnosis, I was convinced that my life was going to never look the way I imagined. I had this crippling fear of being myself authentically – because I thought of myself as someone who had become just another statistic and I would never amount to anything in life, at least according to the imaginary “societal norms” I had made up in my mind or taught as a child. And the fact that I have faced those fears and overcome them every single day – is truly something to be proud of.
Each time I step out onto a stage or on a platform and share my story with others, my heart and cup are filled with love and joy. While I may be sharing my story with the hopes of impacting someone else’s life – I’m also choosing to show up for myself and my inner child – and giving her a voice, because hers too matters. Speaking openly about addiction, gender identity and HIV/AIDS is not always comfortable conversation topics, but they are real, and they are necessary – and I am one of those who is no longer afraid to truly LIVE OUT LOUD!
We’d love to hear about how you think about risk taking?
This question certainly made me giggle a little..
Of course I consider myself to be a risk-taker. I mean, hello? I was stuck in my addiction with substances and alcohol for over a decade – you can only imagine how many risks I have taken in my 34 years of life.
Since beginning my healing journey, I would have to say that the biggest risk I have taken is packing what I could into one single suitcase and turning my back on a life that I thought was my destiny – and that was homelessness. It’s crazy to think that just a few years ago, I was living out of bags on the streets of Downtown Houston.
They say that your life changes at the age of thirty, and I used to think that was the biggest load of crap – until I turned thirty and realized that I had the opportunity to change the trajectory of my life – and there was a way out of the living hell I had landed myself in. I definitely did not know how or what had to be done, but I knew about myself that if there was something I’ve ever wanted, my hard work and dedication would get me there.
Reaching out and asking for help was one of the most empowering decisions I ever made for myself. On May 9, 2020 I made the phone call that would essentially be my ticket out. I called one of the directors at SerenityStar Recovery in Smithville, Texas and sought out help. I explained my situation to them, told them I was ready to heal from addiction and change my life – and the call was answered. And I believe that was God saying to me “I am not done with you yet.”
On May 24, 2020 – I walked into SerenityStar Recovery at my rock bottom. I had become bankrupt – emotionally, physically and mentally – but I knew that God had brought me this far and would get me through this next chapter of my life. Of course I was scared; scared to live my life without the dependence of substance and alcohol, scared to leave a life that I had become so accustomed to, scared of change. Thank God I made that call.
My arrival time in Smithville, Texas on that day was 3:33pm – and I am a firm believer that that was God and the Universe’s way of telling me everything is going to be okay. Jeremiah 33:3 says “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”
Fast forward to present day.. because I chose to take that life changing risk, I sit here sharing my message of hope with the readers of Voyage San Antonio Magazine. I am the healthiest I have ever been. I am quickly approaching 4.5 years of sobriety. I am now a staff member of SerenityStar Recovery. AND.. I am preparing to graduate from San Antonio College with an Associates in Business Administration.
So to answer the question..
YES! I am a risk-taker!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialjayceek/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialjayceek/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBQ5-48mn24
